Aqua - "You want a shot at the title?!" - Palooza

We started off early... 6:30 am to be exact. My best friend Dana was in town (longest we've ever gone without seeing each other!) and she happened on the same weekend as "Aquapalooza", one of the most glorious events to be held on Lake Travis. We rolled out of bed, got ourselves ready, made sandwiches and beverages for the boat, grabbed our sunglasses, and were ready for Firas when he pulled up at 7:30. You all know how much I enjoy making lists, so here goes a list of the reasons why Aquapalooza was an event to remember...


1.) There were over 7,000 boats and 65,000 people in one place.

2.) We enjoyed bloody mary's while floating in our life preservers in the water. That's a first.

3.) Brad Paisley performed on a stage in the water. Not only did he put on a very entertaining show, he was so excited to be there. After a couple songs he shouted, "This is the COOLEST thing I've ever done!" I've never been a huge Brad Paisley fan, but his points shot way up after that performance.

4.) Older lady dancing on the raft in front of me and Dana. Had already mentioned her ex-husband(s) and children. Enough of her butt showing to make us uncomfortable. Somewhat provocative dance moves while in her teeny bikini. When all of a sudden... she tips backwards off the raft into the water. Imagine me and Dana at this very moment. Dying.

5.) Dana managed to score a ride on a wave runner with a random guy. Is anyone surprised?
When he said he was heading over to another friend's boat for about an hour, she pulled the "just visiting from Virginia" and he was quick to tell her to hop on. Here's something else that won't surprise you.... they got pulled over on the lake because Dana convinced the guy to do donuts in a no-wake zone. Amazing.

6.) The devil's girlfriend was on our boat. She had orange skin and bleach-blonde hair. You all know that I'm typically a kind person... I try to see the good in people. Impossible with this one. Without getting into too much detail, I'll share one of her finer moments. She had probably taken 15 jello shots by 11:30 am and Dana and I were a little concerned that with no food in her stomach, she was going to get really sick... or make a complete fool of herself. Dana and I were relaxing in the shade on the boat, enjoying some monstrous turkey sandwiches, and drinking lots of water. Satan's gf sat between us on a cooler and started going through a bag of tacos that another girl had prepared for the boat. She opened up each taco, let out a groan every time she saw what was inside, wrapped it back up, and grabbed another. Dana finally asked, "What are you looking for? Those all look good." The girl replied that she could only eat chicken and that she wouldn't eat a flour tortilla, only corn. Dana told her that she was skinny and had nothing to worry about, that she would be fine eating just one flour tortilla. Satan's gf responded, "That's why I'm skinny. Because I don't eat flour tortillas." Dana and I roll our eyes at each other. She goes on to stand up and look over at the boat of guys beside us and in her demonic voice says, "Yep, flour tortillas. Nobody eats them. Oh wait, these girls do...", pointing at the two of us. While part of me was a bit offended by that comment, another part of me wanted to yell, "That's right! And throw on some extra cheese and chorizo, &%^$*!" and then cannonball into the water. But I didn't. Instead, I sat there with my jaw dropped for about 15 seconds until Dana and I just started laughing in shock of what just happened. Pure evil. Felt like 7th grade again.

7.) Swimming the English Channel to get from our boat to the stage where Brad Paisley performed. We were lucky enough to have a wave-runner pull us most of the way on the swim there, but not so much on the way back. I still laugh thinking about holding onto Dana's raft behind the wave-runner and my head was barely above water... I finally moved to the back of the raft but quickly lost my grip on it and was only surviving by holding tightly onto Dana's hand. I literally thought I was going to pull her arm off. We were laughing too hard to get me back to the raft. One of those moments where you just had to be there.

8.) Brad Paisley singing his new hit "Water" as everyone (tens of thousands of people) splashed water into the air and everyone was dancing and singing at the top of their lungs. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to enjoy this as 10 minutes earlier a lovely fellow was kind enough to throw up. In the water. I don't think you need any more detail as to why people splashing water on my body wasn't a pleasant experience. I kept my mouth and eyes closed for the majority of the song.

9.) Chad, Firas's good friend and boat owner, inspired the title of this blog post. The devil's girlfriend, after telling him that she "hated all of his girlfriends", told Chad that she would ruin him. He had to have repeated the story of him responding, "You want a shot at the title?! I dare you," as he ran his hands over an imaginary belt at least six times. And I was excited every time he started the story.

10.) And my all-time favorite part of the event: I got to spend the entire day with Dana!!! Guaranteed a good time. Couldn't have picked a better and more fun Aquapalooza partner! We are going to try and make a tradition out of it. Besides our lips getting sunburnt (holy smokes... never again), we were champions that day. Can't wait 'til next year!