Monday, January 24, 2011

New Addition to the Lauer family

It doesn't speak. It doesn't eat. It doesn't breathe. It's the Travelocity gnome, and it is awesome. I had an inkling that it was my Mom's favorite Christmas present, and I now have the proof confirming it. I received these picture messages last weekend with the following captions... (it's funnier if you read them with an accent.)



"Pancakes! You're spoiling me Mum!!"


"I'm quite taken with my new bedroom!"


"This is our home team, we rock the dark green! Go JETS!"


"Too many a green beer makes not a happy gnome..."

Welcome to the family, little one. And let's be honest, every home needs a gnome.

Friday, January 21, 2011

Fortune Cookie Frights

Most people are excited to open up their fortune cookie at a Chinese restaurant. It used to by my favorite part of the meal. With the exception of wonton soup. Not anymore. I am now terrified to read my fortune. And with good reason.

Firas and I tried out a new Vietnamese restaurant while he was on his "Pho" kick. He might still be on it, but I've jumped off the bandwagon. I can only handle so much Vietnamese soup. While on the bandwagon, we ate Pho at this new restaurant and it was decent, but far from the best we've had. Hoping for a good fortune to make up for the less than par meal, I eagerly tore off the wrapper and cracked the cookie to read this:

"Don't forget, you are always on our minds."


I might have screamed right there in the restaurant. I'm sure I laughed.... nervously. And I'm certain that I scoped out the place, checking for any predators who had escaped the fortune cookie factory and were looking to play a sick prank on an innocent American girl. What kind of fortune is that?!
We laughed it off and I posted it to my facebook wall, enjoying the several comments it inspired. Two weeks later, Firas and I visited a different Vietnamese restaurant that we had been to before for another "go at the Pho". Ah, I really am becoming my mother... that's a good thing. Anyways, we enjoyed our Pho much more this time and had a good lunch together away from work. Without hesitation after the waiter brought our check, I grabbed my fortune cookie and excitedly opened it to read what was in store for me. Might I be inheriting a large sum of money? Would I have great success in my career? Perhaps an old friend would come back into my life? But no, none of those things seem to be my fate, according to the fortune cookie writers. Instead, I got this:


"Don't forget, you are always on your minds."


Does anyone else think I have reason to be nervous...? Are they going to write an episode of Law and Order based on my story? My friends at work got me Chinese food today for my birthday, and the fortune cookie sat on my desk for two hours before I had the guts to open it. I finally did and it read, "You will soon be given good advice." I wonder if that good advice will come from one of you responding to this post, telling me to lock myself in my apartment until 2012. Just a thought. May your fortune cookies be less frightening than mine.

No Holding Back

I have a resident who tells it like it is. Luckily she has vision impairment or else I'm sure I'd hear that my outfit doesn't match, I need to lose a few pounds, or I need to re-think my makeup. Instead, I just get to hear what she thinks about her husband, her living situation, and everything in between.

Lydia: Where's Henry?

Me: I'm not sure, Lydia. But I bet he'll come to visit you soon.

Lydia: I hope so. I love my Henry.

Me: I know you do. And he loves you.

Lydia: He's my everything, honey.

Me: That's sweet.

Lydia: Now where is he?

Me: I think he's at home, but he'll come by soon.

Lydia: Home? That son of a b*tch left me here.

(One hour later -- I'm trying to redirect her as she's calling out "Help!" or "Henry!")

Me: So tell me how you met Henry...

Lydia: I was 15. We got married when I was 16.

Me: Oh! Highschool sweethearts...

Lydia: We sure were. But where is he?

Me: So how many kids do you have?

Lydia: Three or four.

Me: I can see you being a great Mom.

Lydia: Yeah. But you better believe I spanked their asses when I had to.

I'm tired. And cranky. And a little anxious about turning 27 this weekend. But man, if laughter keeps me alive and young, then I'm thankful for these conversations.



Thursday, January 20, 2011

TGI(almost)F

I was standing next to Jimmy at the music therapy group last Thursday, knowing that he would give me some reason to laugh off what had turned out to be a "terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day" (well, week).... remember that book? I sympathized with Alexander. But as always, Jimmy came through for me. I was leaning over reading the lyrics off of his booklet as we sang "Deep in the Heart of Texas". He clapped off beat every time and hollered "TEXAS" in a shrilly southern accent whenever it was least appropriate. He then turned to me and asked, "Hey baby, you know what never stops growing on a man?" I nervously put a few more inches between us, fearing what his answer might be. He screamed, "EARS! LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THOSE THINGS!" while pointing at the man (two feet) in front of us. He was right. That man's ears were huge. And fortunately, as big as his ears are, he is very (very) hard of hearing.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Viva Las Vegas (November 2010)

This is long overdue and I can't take Firas's harassment anymore. Here goes the Vegas post....

Nicole asked me to describe Las Vegas in one word. For anyone who has traveled to this action-packed city, you might agree that her request is near impossible. After making jokes about it being Asian-infused, bankrupt, and completely insane... I think the one word I would use to describe it is "alive". From the shows to the casinos to the bright lights to the magnificent buildings to the people of all different walks of life.... the city is ALIVE. I made a comment to Firas when we arrived that the casinos were much different than I expected. I suppose I had Oceans 11 in my mind when I pictured them all being luxurious, decorated in gold, and filled with people in tuxedos and formal gowns. I was relieved that it wasn't quite that pretentious. It would have been even more intimidating for me. The casinos were filled with average people like me, mostly older, a few younger, a handful of bachelor and bachelorette parties, brides and grooms, plenty of white-haired elderpals, one too many people suffering a midlife crisis, and the list goes on. Like I said earlier, all walks of life. We stayed at the Monte Carlo and it was a blast. I tried my hand at Blackjack, Let it Ride, the Wheel, and one (hundred) too many slot machines. I wouldn't say that luck was on my side, but I wasn't completely unfortunate. Firas had been to Vegas twice before, so it was nice to have a personal guide who had an idea of the city's "must see" features. After six hours of traveling on Friday night, we rallied like rockstars and made our way to a club called "Tryst" at the Wynn Hotel and Casino. What a sight. I thought I had witnessed the craziest club scene in Miami, but Las Vegas took the cake. People were there to par-tay. I'm not sure how people our age can party when one drink costs $14, but they certainly find a way, especially if they end up being married by Elvis at the end of the night. At a place like that, drinks aren't even necessary with the pulsating music, vibrant decor, crowded dance floor, and highly entertaining guests in attendance. We also visited Ghostbar, the rooftop lounge at the Palms, and I felt like a celebrity. It was chilly and extremely windy, but that didn't stop us from dancing outside on the rooftop patio which overlooked the wild city that is Las Vegas. It was such a cool experience. We also made sure to visit the Bellagio Fountain, the lions at the MGM, the high-roller shops at Cesar's Palace, the Eiffel Tower, and almost all of the other casinos for a game or two. The hotels were so beautifully decorated; I was in awe by the time I stepped foot into most of the lobbies. The city was surprisingly clean and the weather was wonderful. We had such a good trip, athough I will say that three nights is more than enough time to spend in this city. By the time I was suggesting I charge meals to my credit card so that Firas could give me cash, we knew it was time to go. Ha ha.... you think I'm kidding.... but overall, one of the most fun trips I've ever taken, and it helped to have such a great companion to travel with.

And lastly, I would like to pat myself on the back for not slipping in the overused line of, "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas". For once, I am resisting the urge to be a complete cornball.

Monday, January 17, 2011

CrypticNet

I was skimming through my company's online directory of medical providers in hopes of finding a good doctor here in Austin. As it brought me to the security portion of the site, it instructed me to type the image in the box before taking me to the next page. The image in the box read: Death59.

I think it might be wise to use less morbid words when dealing with the security on a medical website. Even I was a bit shaken up, and I was only searching for a general doctor... not because I was experiencing chest pain, shortness of breath, or high blood pressure. Hopefully those who are experiencing alarming symptoms while in search of a doctor are given more positive messages on their security page.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Somebody Save Me

A staff member asked when the next crocheting activity was going to be. I informed her that it was on Wednesday afternoon. She asked why it changed from Tuesdays and I replied, "Well to be honest, it's pretty much becoming an everyday activity. A few of the ladies have been teaching other residents." She asked if the other residents were picking it up, and my response was, "Oh yeah, they're 'hooked'."

Oh. My. Gosh.

Are we sure I'm turning 27 and not 67?

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Christmas Cheer and Travel Sneers

I debated over whether or not to post this entry. I figure everyone reading this has at least one, if not a dozen, stories about a flying experience that was less than pleasant. My encounters may not even compare to yours but there was a tipping point that brought me to follow through with writing this post. I will get to that later. On the flight home to Virginia, I was glad to be on a small plane. That meant less people, less noise, and an easier time getting off the plane. In terms of the person sitting beside me, I'm forever hopeful for a friendly person who says hello, puts on their headphones, and falls asleep. I've never been much of a Social Sally on planes. I've been lucky before with this exact description of my ideal neighbor, once or twice. However, Santa granted me a man who mumbled things to himself and giggled randomly throughout the entire plane ride. At first, I thought he was on his Bluetooth having a conversation with somebody on the other end. I thought it was a weird conversation to start with, but it became even stranger when he took out his earphones and continued to speak. He mumbled to me about the two of us being in the row with no window and no reclining seats followed by a sarcastic, "Happy Holidays". I responded awkwardly with, "Oh, lucky us!"and I guess that wasn't enough of a response as he continued to mumble to himself for the remainder of the 2 1/2 hour plane ride. Oh, lucky me.

The ride from Charlotte to Charlottesville was glorious - less than an hour and no one beside me. Santa was slowly making a comeback! I had a wonderful time at home. I celebrated my first "only child" Christmas. Nicole was in Long Island with the in-laws and Deirdre was in Ireland with her boyfriend and his family. We are growing up, it seems. I missed them both very much, especially on Christmas morning, but it was just good to be back home with Mom and Dad. I was surprised with many great gifts and was ecstatic to see meatloaf (my favorite) on the table for Christmas Eve dinner and snow on the ground Christmas morning. We headed to the Johnsons' home for their annual Christmas Day Open House, and I was so excited to see Meredith! We caught up on my previous life in Richmond that she picked up where I left off, and that makes me so happy. We enjoyed Mr. Johnson's famous clam chowder, Mrs. Johnson's delicious potato casserole, and as always, a lot of laughs. Mom, Dad, and I headed to D.C. the day after Christmas where I was so excited to see Nicole, Tony, Nana, and all of my aunts, uncles, and most of my cousins! I'm so thankful for an extended family that values time spent together. I remember being younger and friends asking me, "So you actually hang out with your cousins? You're friends with them?" I couldn't imagine it any other way, to be honest. We spent our entire vacations producing plays, swimming, writing musicals, seeking out adventure, and occasionally getting into trouble. I've always considered myself lucky in that regard. My favorite part of everybody getting together is the stories they share. My stomach was sore the next morning from laughing so hard. From feeding Kevin Dillon a dirt burger, to the "breaking into" their school gym, to the woman trying to return used underwear to Sears while my dad was working, to the infamous Stedge car stories... I hope I'm able to share even half the number of stories that my parents, aunts, and uncles do with my children, nieces, and nephews.

After exploring Old Town and grabbing lunch with Mom, Dad, and Nicole, it was time for me to go. Hard times, as always. It was a lonely wait in the airport and now, more than ever, I hoped for the silent type on the plane next to me. My wish was granted. However, the girl in the row
beside me was the scariest chick in the world. Not scary like villain-in-the-night scary. She was just a witch with a B. Forgive my fingers. The lady in front of her asked if that was her purse in the overhead compartment and if she could put it below her seat instead. The medium-sized purse was keeping the other passengers from fitting another carry-on suitcase in the compartment. Come ON! The girl quickly snapped back, "That IS my bag, and NO it does not need to go under my seat, and you do NOT need to tell me what to do!" Hold the phone. Hello, power trip, are you there? The woman seemed a bit taken aback, found another compartment for her bag, and sat down. When another passenger tried to fit her bag into the scary chick's compartment, the woman explained to her that the purse was blocking it. True statement. The girl shouted out, "You need to mind your D*MN business unless you want to get cursed out!" Merry Christmas. This girl wasn't as ghetto as she sounds. She was decked out in Ugg boots and a Northface jacket, with manicured nails and perfectly styled hair. Looks can be deceiving.

I know this story doesn't sound worth blogging about, but here's the straw that broke the blogger's back. The girl stood up from her seat when the plane landed, and on the side of her tote bag read this:

"Be the change you wish to see in the world."

Gandhi would be so proud.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Happy Anniversary, Austin!

Today, I celebrate my one-year anniversary with the city of Austin! It has been a year filled with adventure, excitement, love, challenges, growth, good music, travel, and new opportunities. It's hard to believe that just a year ago I was on the road with Nicole and Deirdre, singing "What about Now?" at the top of our lungs and experiencing a whirlwind of emotions about my big move. I remember driving through the not-so-exciting states of Tennessee and Arkansas (in terms of scenery from the highway, not in regard to the character of the state), a little bit antsy and ready to arrive, yet hoping that the ride would never end.


This is not the loveliest picture of me and my sisters, but it's one of the only two pictures we have from our road trip that captures all three of us together. The other one is in a bathroom at a Tennessee gas station. It was a trip I will never forget. And as hard as it has been to be away from home, my family, and friends, I am so glad I made it.

To end on a not-so-cheesy note, here are a few of our favorite pictures that highlight the character of Tennessee and Arkansas...


Here's to another year of being as excited as I was on my first day in this fabulous city:



Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Come Here Grandpa!

I was hosting the monthly happy hour (alcohol-free wine and O'Douls... party time!) for the residents last week and I overheard this interaction:

Lydia (82 years old) to Jimmy (my funny guy): "Grandpa! Come here Grandpa!"

Jimmy to me: "Who is she calling Grandpa?"

I chuckle and continue to observe.

Lydia: "You! Come here Grandpa!"

Jimmy: "How old do you think I am?!"

Lydia: "Old enough to be my Grandpa!"

Jimmy: "Well how old are YOU?"

Lydia: "54." (Need I mention she has dementia?)

Jimmy: "54?! Man, you must have had one HELL of a year!"

Monday, January 3, 2011

Ring in the New Year

I've been thinking a lot about New Year's resolutions. Everyone always says you're just setting yourself up to fail by attempting to make resolutions. I've agreed in the past, but now it just sounds completely pathetic. Are we really that convinced that we're destined to not meet any personal goals and to fail miserably at making positive changes in our lives? How lame. I hope I have more faith in myself than that. Maybe it's about setting realistic goals and not ridiculous ones.


Here are a few of mine for 2011...
  • Send more letters to friends and family back home -- send me your address!
  • Buy fresh fruits and vegetables -- even though Steamfresh frozen veggies are just so easy and tempting...
  • Get my tail into shape, which will include:
  • Being more active in Austin -- hiking, exploring by foot, canoeing, tennis, biking, etc.
  • Packing my lunch at least four days a week
  • Expanding my skills in the kitchen and taking the time to prepare home-cooked meals
  • Read for pleasure more often
  • Save money!
  • Travel -- road trips included!
  • Blog at least twice a week, if not more -- Realistic? We shall see...
  • Keep my room clean -- Mom just laughed.
  • And lastly, I want to participate in life -- I read a 300-page book over the the course of two plane rides when I returned to Austin from my trip home called "The Art of Racing in the Rain." It was surprisingly moving, which explains why I couldn't put it down. The narrator is a dog, and it's his perspective on life, humans, relationships, and the story of his connection with the family he lives with. It's definitely worth reading. One of my favorite parts was when the dog (Enzo) commented on how he would live his life as a human (which he is certain he will be in his next life), and he says that he would not merely observe, but that he would always participate. It was so well put. It's easy to sit on the sidelines sometimes, and can be a bit more intimidating to jump in the game. But I want in, just like Enzo.
So here is to a year filled with adventure, family, friends, good health, and great stories!

Happy New Year!
(and thank you for reading my blog)

One resolution I have made, and try always to keep, is this: To rise above the little things.
~John Burroughs