Out of the Mouths of Elderpals

Fran (who used to be a recreation therapist herself): "There's something I want to show you that I think you could do with the other people here. It's not expensive to make, and it's really quite simple."

(She starts to pull something out of an envelope, but is having a tough time.... so I reach for it, and find my hand in a sticky mess... I pull out what seems to be a greeting card covered in blue and white paste...)

Me: "It's a bit sticky, Fran. What's on this card?"

Fran: "Toothpaste! I made stationary with toothpaste. I'm pretty sure it's Aquafresh, comes out of the bottle in red, white, and blue. Isn't that clever? And cheap too!"

Cheap, yes. Clever, debatable. Unfortunate for whoever receives the card, absolutely.

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Rodney (while pointing to a larger man across the table): "I used to be that fat."

Me (quietly): "Really? I just can't imagine that."

Rodney (while pointing): "Oh yeah, believe me. I was almost as fat as that guy."

Me (even quieter now): "Well, how did you get so thin?"

Rodney: "Chasing women, I suppose."

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(While visiting residents with a volunteer from the Catholic church, bringing communion to their rooms)

Edna: "You came!"

Volunteer: "You remember who I am?"

Edna: "You're JEEEEESUS."

Volunteer: "Well, not exactly..."

Edna: "No, you're the man who BRINGS me Jeeeesus."

Volunteer: "That's right!"

(They go on to say their prayer and Edna receives communion)

Edna: "Thank you for feeding me Jeeeesus! You made my heart haaappy."