Filters Out the Window

Edna: Dance with me! I want to shake my boooooty.

Jaclyn: Okay, but try to keep your booty in your chair.

Edna: But my booty wants to DAAAANCE!

Jaclyn: I know it does, Edna.

Edna: Shake YOUR booty!

Jaclyn (in a whisper): My booty is too big to shake for this crowd.

Edna (laughing): Me too. My booty is KINGSIZE!

James and I were walking down the hall from his room to an activity when he pointed at a heavier set woman and exclaimed with bulging eyes, "WOW that's a BIG lady." And that's when I duck into another resident's room and hide.

Jaclyn: Hi Ms. Ellen, would you like to come out to see the band?

Ellen: Oh, I would honey, but I believe I'm supposed to stay in my room.

Jaclyn: Oh, do you know what for?

Ellen: Um I can't remember what it's called exactly... gonorrhea? I think that's it. Yes, gonorrhea.

(I gave her 10 seconds to think this over)

Ellen: Oh wait! No, not gonorrhea. I just can't recall the name.


I have a male resident who likes to participate in just about EVERY single activity we offer. He's our star pupil, always up for anything and always encouraging others to join in as well. When I was in care plans last week, one of the volunteers kindly offered to do manicures for a group of ladies. Apparently, Donald insisted that he too receive a manicure. He was persistent enough that he and the other ladies convinced the volunteer to paint his nails. Electric Blue. When James was asked if he wanted his nails done, he responded, "I think I'll pass. But if painting his nails makes him happy, then I'm happy for him." How open-minded of the 70-year old All-American football player. Donald pulled up to his dinner table where he was greeted by the two other gentlemen that he eats brunch and dinner with every day. Mr. Kennedy gave Donald's painted nails one glance and boldly asked, "DON, are you GAY?" I died when I heard this. Donald proudly responded that he wasn't gay and he still loved his women. A week later, he is still sporting his electric blue nails along with the 14 rainbow bracelets and necklaces he has made during our beading activities. He is embracing life and making the most of each day, even when it means setting himself up for strange looks and nervous whispers. Not everyone can claim that. I hope I can when I'm 70.