nom nom nom

In an e-mail to my Mom and younger sister about Nicole's baby shower, I used the phrase "nom nom nom". Mom wrote back and asked if I meant to type "yum yum yum". This is when I explained to her that "nom nom nom" was a popular new phrase used to describe digging into a dish and compared it to the sound made when pretending to eat a baby's stomach. After I sent it, I had to laugh.... 1.) It's weird that we pretend to eat baby's stomachs. 2.) I doubt there's a universal noise that people make when pretending to do so, but for me it's always "nom nom nom". 3.) I am a geek for describing something as a "popular new phrase". Just two years ago, I asked Deirdre if she had heard of the artist "Kid Cootie"... I am no expert on anything cool.

Filters Out the Window

Edna: Dance with me! I want to shake my boooooty.

Jaclyn: Okay, but try to keep your booty in your chair.

Edna: But my booty wants to DAAAANCE!

Jaclyn: I know it does, Edna.

Edna: Shake YOUR booty!

Jaclyn (in a whisper): My booty is too big to shake for this crowd.

Edna (laughing): Me too. My booty is KINGSIZE!

James and I were walking down the hall from his room to an activity when he pointed at a heavier set woman and exclaimed with bulging eyes, "WOW that's a BIG lady." And that's when I duck into another resident's room and hide.

Jaclyn: Hi Ms. Ellen, would you like to come out to see the band?

Ellen: Oh, I would honey, but I believe I'm supposed to stay in my room.

Jaclyn: Oh, do you know what for?

Ellen: Um I can't remember what it's called exactly... gonorrhea? I think that's it. Yes, gonorrhea.

(I gave her 10 seconds to think this over)

Ellen: Oh wait! No, not gonorrhea. I just can't recall the name.


I have a male resident who likes to participate in just about EVERY single activity we offer. He's our star pupil, always up for anything and always encouraging others to join in as well. When I was in care plans last week, one of the volunteers kindly offered to do manicures for a group of ladies. Apparently, Donald insisted that he too receive a manicure. He was persistent enough that he and the other ladies convinced the volunteer to paint his nails. Electric Blue. When James was asked if he wanted his nails done, he responded, "I think I'll pass. But if painting his nails makes him happy, then I'm happy for him." How open-minded of the 70-year old All-American football player. Donald pulled up to his dinner table where he was greeted by the two other gentlemen that he eats brunch and dinner with every day. Mr. Kennedy gave Donald's painted nails one glance and boldly asked, "DON, are you GAY?" I died when I heard this. Donald proudly responded that he wasn't gay and he still loved his women. A week later, he is still sporting his electric blue nails along with the 14 rainbow bracelets and necklaces he has made during our beading activities. He is embracing life and making the most of each day, even when it means setting himself up for strange looks and nervous whispers. Not everyone can claim that. I hope I can when I'm 70.

Ooh Baby, Baby

I've been wanting to write this post for months now, but haven't quite had the words to express just how excited I am. My older sister Nicole is pregnant with her first baby and is due on September 30th!!! To see her and Tony this happy, to see my family this happy, and to feel this happy is simply overwhelming. In a good way! It's such a gift for all of us... I can't even imagine how Nicole must feel! Although I wish I was closer as she experiences her first pregnancy, it has been a privilege to see her twice, and to hear updates about how she's doing and how the baby is growing. So far, all is good... both Nicole and little nugget are healthy. And yes, we are calling the baby "little nugget". Why? Because Nicole and Tony are letting the sex of the baby be a SURPRISE! I was so excited when she told me they were waiting to find out... I feel like that is so rare these days. Everyone is asking me how they are going to plan for the baby, what will people buy for their shower, how they will decorate the nursery.... and my response is, "I don't know... lots of yellow?" I love it! My Mom and Dad were surprised by all three of us. My Dad very surprised by three girls, I'm sure.

Nicole has been glowing since the very beginning... she is beautifully pregnant, and I know that she will make an amazing Mom. And WOOHOO for being an Aunt! And what do you all think little nugget should call me? Aunt Jaclyn doesn't really flow. Aunt Jac? That's a tad masculine. Ideas are welcome.

And if little nugget grows up to look anything like this....

We're in for a real treat.

Love you Nicole and Tony! Can't wait to welcome your little nug into this world.

Raise Your Flag for Deirdre!

Some of you know June 14th as Flag Day, but we Lauers raise our flag for something just as special.... DEIRDRE'S BIRTHDAY!! My little sis is 24 this year. I feel like it was just yesterday that she recorded herself singing "Colors of the Wind" on our cassette player and came tumbling down the stairs screaming, "I'M GONNA KILLLL YOUUUU" when a friend and I discovered it and played it for the whole house to hear. Those were the days.

So in honor of Dee's birthday, here is a repeat list of the reasons why she is just so lovable....

She thinks its funny to creep up on people in the ocean or pool and yell "SCISSOR!" while trapping their legs in hers. So do I. We make a great team.

She has had more hospital emergencies than any other kid and most did not involve sporting events (think somersaulting off the couch into the living room table or how about freezing a bottle of water and it exploding in her hand).

She knows almost every word to every song written.

She can fix anything. I'm serious. Computers, dressers, phones, you name it.

She owns 800 movies. Legally? Not sure.

She is the best listener, and for 24, gives better advice than most grown adults.

She was a really creepy baby. She just stared a lot and made cupie doll faces.

She spoke with a New York accent until she was four even though she only lived there for a few months.

My Mom thought Deirdre had gone missing one day when she couldn't find her anywhere in the house. After searching our entire home, pulling together friends to search the neighborhood, and on the brink of calling the police... Mom thought to check the bedrooms one more time and found Deirdre tucked underneath a desk... smiling.

She doesn't mind looking like a fool on the dance floor, which I love and appreciate. She was brave enough to dance on the bar at Coyote Ugly in Nashville with me in front of a HUGE crowd of seven customers.

She loves karaoke. She performed Weird Al's "Amish Paradise" at a bar called Beerland with my sister Nicole... who does that?

She has a huge heart and is always looking out for her friends and family.

When my Uncle Jerry was babysitting for us while Mom and Dad were in Hawaii, he took us to a "tie-dye your own t-shirt" store (she was about three years old) and when she didn't get something she wanted, she began to scream, "YOU'RE A MANIAC! MANIAC!!!!!!" Poor Uncle Jerry, the kidnapper.

She keeps me hip. Music, lingo, clothing, etc... I need her to survive in this day and age.

She is one of a kind. All of her friends and family would say the same thing - she is the best friend, daughter, and younger sister out there.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEE! I LOVE YOU!!!

The Wicked Witch of South Lamar

I recently learned that riding my bike does not always bring out the best in me. In fact, it might even bring out the worst. I am a fair-weather biking fan. As I rode from Firas's condo to downtown Austin , I was happy as a clam. We were going downhill, of course. There was a slight breeze, my leg muscles were still relaxed, we were on our way to lunch, and the only thing I had to worry about was staying in the bike lane. We made it to Lucy's where we enjoyed a mediocre lunch and a refreshing dollar mimosa... or two. The hot sun hit us hard when we walked outside, the temperature having risen at least 10 degrees. Without hesitation, we geared up and started our trek back to Firas's condo. We took a few detours on the Town Lake trails and made our way up South Congress before crossing over to South Lamar. Let's just say that by the time we crossed the South Congress bridge, I wanted to give up. Sweat was dripping from every pore on my body. I didn't want to whine, so I quietly made my way through SoCo and focused on staying upright as we navigated through the crowds of people. We took a short break in an alley before making our final move to South Lamar. It was so hot that I felt like my body was shutting down... muscles, organs, and all. I took a few ravenous swigs from our water bottle and kept telling myself that we were "almost there". One mile in, it felt like we had crossed half of the Sahara Desert. Damn you, Texas heat. I asked Firas for one more quick break before tackling the last leg, and the worst hill, of the trip. This is when my true colors bore their fangs. As I paced around the parking lot trying to find some inner energy tucked deep within, Firas thought it would be helpful to encourage me with positive thoughts. "We're so close!" "You can do it!" "Let's do this!" "We're not giving up!" "You can power through it!" Instead of receiving his good intentions with a smile and a high-five, I showed him a scarier side of me. I yammered on about how I don't need a cheerleader, how I felt like I was going to die, and how I hate Texas. It was pretty dramatic. But in all seriousness, my energy supply had depleted and I was running on empty. I finally saddled back up and followed behind Firas as we "powered through" our last big hill of the day. It went something like this... "Look, there's Gourdoughs!" "I DON'T CARE!" "Oh hey, there's LuLuBees to your left!" "STOP TALKING, I JUST WANT TO GET HOME!" He didn't seem to understand that I had very little interest in the scenery.... I had only two things on my mind: water and air conditioning. We finally made it. I apologized for being a complete lunatic. He was a good sport and laughed it off, labeling me the "Wicked Witch of South Lamar". I need to find a way to brave this heat, or I won't be riding up too many hills this summer.

P.S. I didn't really feel like I was going to die. And I don't hate Texas. I'm just not a fan of it's heat.

Firozen Yogurt

Judging from this post, can anyone guess whose frozen yogurt this is?

It's almost as if he throws on the strawberries, pineapple, and blackberries out of guilt over the lucky charms, butterfinger, and marshmallows. Either way, he is definitely my favorite person to get frozen yogurt with. Mine always weighs less.

Brad to the Bone

Happy Birthday Bradley Trevillian!

Flashback post for the Birthday Boy...

Multiple Choice

Question: What do all four things below have in common?

Paint

Clay

Confetti

Beads

Answer:

A.) Materials for crafts or decoration for special events

B.) Things that residents might mistake as food

C.) Things that I've left out on a table in front of residents and then turned my head for a split second

D.) All of the above

Activities Director of the Year.

Happy Birthday to Mama Lauer

I meant to post this on Friday, but apparently I was too excited about the opportunity to join in on the birthday festivities that it completely slipped my mind. We celebrated my Mom's birthday on the 27th and I venture to say that it was one of her best. And not because of what we did for her, but because of all the family and friends she was surrounded by. She is one loved lady, and for good reason.

Here is a re-post from last year's birthday... a few of the reasons why she is the greatest Mom in the world. And since I rarely hold back the cheese on this blog, I'll add one more thing. I shared a business idea that has been on my mind over the last few months with my Mom and Dad last weekend. I knew that they wouldn't shut it down right away, but I had a feeling that they might be a bit reluctant. After all, I'm a 27-year old Activities Director who is not business savvy in the least bit. Instead of being reluctant, Mom told me it was a great idea and that she thought it could really work. We even spent the majority of our time in the car between wineries thinking about names for this business venture. Mostly funny ones, of course. But my point is that in addition to this list of positive qualities and funny tidbits that make my Mom who she is, she believes in me. In all of us. That's something that I will always be grateful for. Oh, and one from Firas... she makes some damn good appetizer plates.

So to the one and only, Mama Lauer....

~She can stay on a pogo-stick for a longer amount of time than anyone of any age.

~She used to make my best friend EJ wear clip-on earrings to every dance before she got her ears pierced… they clearly came off before EJ stepped foot into the dance, but she was always a good friend and humored Mom until we got in the car and waved goodbye.

~When my friend Maggie and I suffered the most humiliating moment of our teenage lives (upperclassmen finding our “monkey book” that shared every secret, every deep and shallow thought… and busting into the classroom to find them reading it aloud to a math class filled with boys all mentioned on one or ten pages of the book… oh, I still turn red thinking about it), Mom started a fire in our fireplace and helped us to burn every page of the book.

~She has volunteered for about 75 committees and always finds a way to improve them.

~She started playing tennis in her forties and paddle ball in her fifties… and she could definitely whoop me in both.

~She busted her heel on a kitchen cabinet while showing me and EJ that she could still do a cartwheel.

~She can accessorize any outfit with a piece of jewelry, wrap, or hair piece.

~Her favorite store may or may not be Big Lots. She put Big Lots undies in our stockings as a joke one year. I think it was a joke….

~She taught us the words to “The Littlest Worm” and allowed us to sing it over and over again on long car rides. I hope my kids don’t do that.

~She is the most thoughtful person I know.

~She could turn a run-down shack into a home featured in Good Housekeeping. Best decorating skills ever.

~She let me move to Texas, even though it is way, way, way too far away.

~She and my Aunt Lori laugh so hard together that it makes me so glad I have sisters.

~She is the best listener and gives the most sound advice.

And to prove that she really is the coolest, my best friend Tara wrote a song about her in college. Yes, everyone would agree, Mama Lauer has got it goin’ on.

Jaclyn’s mom has got it goin’ on
Jaclyn’s mom has got it goin’ on
Jaclyn’s mom has got it goin’ on
Jaclyn’s mom has got it goin’ on

Off to Jaclyn’s house to get away from school (away from school)
We’ll go out in C’ville maybe act a fool (act a fool)
Hope your mom is home from her tennis match (tennis match)
Mr. Lauer’s lucky ‘cause his wife’s a catch (his wife’s a catch)

You know I love it when your mom makes cheesy eggs for me
She’s just so hip and sassy now, people can’t you see?

Jaclyn’s mom has got it goin’ on
She’s all I wanna be when I am that young
Jaclyn can’t you see, I’m so glad you’re friends with me
That’s why I wrote this song, Mama Lauer you are totally the bomb

Jaclyn’s mom has got it goin’ on
Jaclyn’s mom has got it goin’ on

Jaclyn, do you remember when we played ‘what-if’? (played ‘what-if’)
Your mom’s great answers made me laugh in a jif (laugh in a jif)
I’m sad I missed her dance to the song ‘my humps’ (song ‘my humps’)
But love that she won’t take no crap from any crazy chumps (crazy chumps)

You know she was so kind when I got my mullet
So I didn’t return to Master Cuts with a bullet

Jaclyn’s mom has got it goin’ on
She’s all I wanna be when I am that young
Jaclyn can’t you see, I’m so glad you’re friends with me
That’s why I wrote this song, Mama Lauer you are totally the bomb

Happy Birthday, Mom! I love you!!!